Paul 's  Chronicles In which you can follow the further development of Paul's comings and goings as he transitions to a new and, one hopes, better life after the agony of defeat.  Well Used  Recipes
Most recent at top I really dislike the word "blog". It carries with it, for me , the cross between "blather" and "log". which is one of the reasons I prefer "chronicles". I will be as faithful as I can be to the posting of new writing on this site at least once a week.  I don't consider myself a blogger; most of those people reading this will have had personal interaction with me, most recently through the defunct Ross Valley Winery, but in other arenas as well. This is not an e-mail sent to you or your spam filter. It is a site to which I hope you will willingly and actively return and see what's up with PK. If you want to make a comment, you can e-mail me at this address PaulatPaultkdotcom. (Click on it to send e-mail to the address)I have left the @ out of the address here so skimmers can't detect it. If you write the word "comment" in the e-mail subject, I will read it, and if the information is appropriate, publish  your comment here.

Wine
Making
Consulting
August 19, 2010 Time is zipping along faster than I can believe. Wrote a couple of things for my latest publisher, for promotion of the soon-to-be released latest book"..Things You Should Know About Wine"  part of their "good to know" series It's a lot of information for a very small price. Hope you will be hearing more about it (in a good way) before too long. Meanwhile, you can amazon it and take a look at the content at http://www.amazon.com/Things-Know-About-Wine-Good/dp/1596525894/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282269215&sr=1-3.             
I have my 15 foot Penske truck all reserved and ready to go, my flat is filled with packing boxes, my storage unit is prety much cleaned out and turned over to a new renter, and my new house is confirmed and ready. I drive off into the Great Northern Wasteland on Monday, August 30th. Jesse will follow in the pickup, and we will take our time to get there, arriving on the 1st after overnighting with relatives, to move in and get settled. The next 10 days are going to disappear, so I am getting in those last few things I want to do I haven't done in the past 32 years before leaving Marin, like having a beer at the
American Legion Dugout Bar  in Memorial Park. Open Wed-Sat 6:00PM a real down-home bar operating in the midst of a children's playground. It's a little bit of the past and must have gotten grandfathered into San Anselmo's regulations, there is no was it would be approved in 2010, so go by and throw them some business. I suspect the hours are after 6:00 PM so the Moms would be discouraged from dumping the kiddies in the sand box and having a well-deserved attitude adjuster. Staffed by volunteers, tip heavily. Jutebox unpredictable, pool table ok, sticky bar. If you love Marinitas, you'll hate this place and Vice Versa! 

                                          
August 9, 2010  

Looks like I have some catching up to do. The winery liquidation process is in full swing. You can visit the auction site by going to our old website at rossvalleywinery.com and following the link to the auctioneer. The bidding does not start until August 24th, and will last only two days. I have spent most of my time in the past couple of weeks organizing myself to move to Washington, travelling up there to look at rental properties, packing up my flat here, saying goodbye to friends, having lunches and dinners and accepting best wishes. I wish I could tell you I am depressed, unhappy, fearful and discouraged, which is how most people seem to think I should feel. The truth of the matter is that I am enthusiastically embracing my new life and think this chapter will be very happy, and challenging. I do regret the distance I am building between myself and so many close friends, and I hate to think we will fall out of touch as inevitably we will, but then I receive a letter in the comment below, am touched and realize I have many talents and much to accomplish for, or at least to contribute to, those who want to travel down the wine making path. 


There are over 40 small wineries in the Far Western Marine Washington area where I am moving, and of course many more winery operations in Eastern (warm) Washington. Perhaps some of them could benefit from my 36 years of winemaking experience. It may be that there are countless home winemakers who want to turn their amateur attempts into gold.  I have been there and done that and think I could develop a small business out of it.  A very small business.

 

By marshalling my resources and considerable organizing effectiveness, I was able to find a wonderful place to live at a price I can afford on my fixed income. Here is what you see when you look out my front  door:   frontdoorview

COMMENT I am sorry to hear about your winery's closing. When we were first
opening our own winery in Washington, we knew that we never wanted to be
a snobby winery. I welcome my customers as friends, invite them to my
home, and enjoy sharing my passion for wine in communal delectation. I
stumbled across your website years ago (and have been following you
since) and immediately fell in love with your genuine personality and
wit. Although I unfortunately have to admit that I never ordered your
wine (kicking myself HARD now!! and offering a million apologies), I
would like you to know that you are an admirable model for at least one
young person stumbling through the world of the commercial wine
industry, and probably many more like me.

Wishing you the best,   KM
July 25, 2010 So I skipped a Sunday because I was in Fresno visiting Jack and Carole Lester, true blue friends. The temperature was 108 degrees. But here I am very relaxed, mellow and almost completely sober, OK a little zinfandel has worked its way through my system and it did nothing but convince me that I have no choice but to continue making at least small batches of wine for me, family and close friends. (OK, make that medium sized batches of wine!) The drive to do that is one of the basic qualifications for a Northwestern house I am searching out.  The original deal I had to rent my sister's yellow house went away when she and her business partner decided to put it on the market. In lieu of moving in only until it sells, I opted to find a longer term rental relationship. And, as so many of you have pointed out recently, things happen for a reason, (and the next person who tells me that "one door has to close before another one can open" is going to get popped.) The reason it happened here is that there was no space to make wine in the yellow house, and now I am writing that in as a rental requirement.

I think this week is the week you should go to the website
www.westauction.com.  You can see the format now; the contents of the winery will be broken into "lots" and you bid on a specific lot. I have the right to bid, and I think I will.  Meanwhile, I am packing up my stuff at home and having  dinners, lunches or glasses of wine with friends.  After the frenetic and locked in pace of running the the winery, I am finding it strange not to be restricted by time. I may even go to a Giants game!

COMMENT Hey, Paul!
 
I want to tell you that your wine was a whoosh of delicious!  P and R brought us a bottle to share for New Year's celebration, and that was what invited me to join the Paul / Ross Valley club.  You are a wine master!
 
I read that you are leaving California.  We did that in 2005.  I hope that you are coming to Washington.  We LOVE it here and we need more genius in this glorious state!  It is a far cry from California in many ways--most of them significant for the soul.  Each time we travel away we come home more committed to stay!  Come aboard, man--you belong here! KTK
July 14, 2010 Sunday doesn't seem to work for me as a writing day. Maybe it's because there are so many other things to do on what I still consider to be my special day off. Last Sunday I had a magnificent goodbye dinner with Judith Epstein and her husband Joe for whom I have made custom wine in the past.

 I have received many comments and good wishes, only one crappy comment; I won't dignify it with any energy, except  this. You'd not think a psychotherapist, a profession that makes income from helping people relate to others and to express feeling positively would be the only person out of so many to make crappy comments. So there you go, heal yourself, "Doctor."

Today I turned over my key to the winery to the auctioneer who is representing the trustee. He informs me that an on-line auction will be held of the contents of the building, with the contents broken down into lots of affordable size. In a week or so you can go to www.westauction.com and look up the winery and see the lots. You should be able to pick up some good values, if you are so motivated. The auction could be something of a downer, but I am keeping my dauber up, if you will forgive a baseball reference.

I'm getting lots of comments like the one in the blocks above and below, and they are helpful to my mental state and appreciated. My plans to move to Washington are still "Go" but pushed ahead until the last week of August or the first of September. With the weather as hot as it is going to be this weekend, I want to remind you that you'll want to place a frozen blue thingie in with the wine you are saving in your ice chest. The hot weather arrives just as the San Anselmo "Art" and Wine Festival comes to town. Maybe it won't broil, but it sure will bake.
ANOTHER
COMMENT
I know it had to hurt to "declare defeat" but it was a good try and a good thing.  I just wish the recession hadn't hit you so hard. 
 
I send you my heartfelt admiration and respect for having the courage and gumption to dream big and actually do something about your dream.  You weren't an "I'm gonna" guy.  You committed and did it.  You made a leap of faith and rode the wave for as long as you could.  You've been dumped by a big wave, but it is not the end for you.  I am going to read your book, as I really need the education, so let us know when your book is available for purchase on amazon.  I hope to see you on TV someday talking about your wine books.  Note that I said books with a plural! 
July 9, 2010

Last Sunday was the Fourth of July and I was unable to add anything to this page because I was on an island in the San Juan Straits near the water border between Washington and Canada. Yes, I could have borrowed my brother's laptop and gone on-line, but I was separated from San Anselmo by more than simply the distance.  It was a welcome relief and as the silence and isolation washed over me, I felt as if I were floating in the water that surrounded the island, weightless and very much alone within myself. Surrounded by some of my best customers, my supportive family, including son Jesse, who drove the 800 miles north and back with me, I celebrated my 65th (yes, I know it is hard to believe, believe me) birthday and what I hope will be a less stressful life for me in my "old age." On the same day my faithful Blackberry died and then I was truly isolated, not a bad feeling, by the way.

Now that I am back in San Anselmo and having been  greeted by a informative Marin IJ article that ran in my absence (no comment from me due to the Blackberry), people are stopping me in the street to express their dismay. I know that most of this emotion is genuine, but there is also a discernable taste of fear in their voices and comments. If this could happen to Paul, it could happen to anyone. I believe that under-layer of fear is what keeps people’s money in their pockets, releasing it on only the most essential of essentials. The angst is palatable. People ask how I will live.

 My answer is “well enough.” My social security payments and my small pension from Crown Zellerbach will cover my basics. I have completed another book, which is published by Turner Publishing , part of a “Things to Know” series. My contribution is “34 things to know about wine” and I think it is a great resource for people who want to understand wine. It will be out soon, I have a prepublication copy. One hopes that there will be some income from that. And now that I have time I can work on promoting my other books, there is potential.


COMMENT from
one of those who
voted for us:
Dear Paul,
I just learned about the winery's closing. I'm sorry Paul. I just want 
you to know that P. and I are very sad that you had to make that 
decision. I know how important your beautiful winery has been to you 
and how much incredible (and excellent) work you put into it. Please 
give us a call and come over when you feel like it. Just please know 
that you are in my thoughts.
Love,
E
June 27, 2010 A lot of water and a few tears have passed under the bridge since last Sunday. My expensive meeting with the attorney went well. And so we are scheduled for a filing date when I return from my out of State trip on July 7th. But there was much to be accomplished, including removing wine that did not belong to the winery (for example, a barrel of wine we helped the staff at Wines and Vines make). I made the decision to have a club members only 50% off sale and sell everything possible, keeping records for the trustee. That was very successful and we sold out of several of our bottled wines.

There was also a lot of obviously heart-felt and genuine emotion from people I have come to regard as friends, most maybe not the come-on-over-to-my-place-and-have-dinner friends, but people whose names and spouses I know and whose children I recognize. I appreciate this emotion as a sense of loss on their part, perhaps not on the same magnitude as my sense of loss, but a hole in their San Anselmo reality nevertheless. Several people connected completely with my theory that the population in general is so tightened down financially that the single most important factor in shopping for wine or anything else, is the price. I think that is very short sighted, as there is a huge cost for a low price. Part of it is driving small, quality producers out of business, another part of it is the exploitation of people just like you who are working for unsustainable income, so the costs are kept low. When I learned that Whole Foods was paying its "team members" $11.25 per hour to work at a frenetic pace in a department that had revenues of $22,000 in a day, I was disgusted and resolved not to help their bottom line with any of my bucks.

The bottom line is that the citizens of San Anselmo citizens voted both for and against The Ross Valley Winery, a jewel in San Anselmo's rusty, flood ravaged, mud-encrusted crown. They voted with their wallets. And I lost the election.


COMMENT from
one of those who
voted for us, often:
Paul,
We've just learned of the closing, and we are very saddened by it.
Unfortunately, we had not known of your place for very long, but we
relished the opportunities we had to come in. I have to say, at
first it took some convincing for my husband to finally come with me
since he assumed a wine bar to be very snobby... but once he did, he
was hooked. He especially took a liking to you, and we were bummed
whenever we came in and found that you were out (yes, everyone else
was very nice and very pleasant but we enjoyed chatting with you). I
will really REALLY miss coming by for a glass of Carneros, and I will
physically crave my (yes, I said mine!) Vin de NOIX.

We really wish we could have come in to see you one last time. We
truly wish you the best in your future endeavors.  M&R
June 19, 2010 It's Father's Day, a Hallmark Holiday that has never meant much to me. I invited my two adult children over for a simple get together of grilled hamburgers and peppers  because I don't have energy for anything fancier. Yesterday, Saturday, was the end of the winery as you might know it, with Club Members coming in to pick up their final wine shipments.

It was very touching to receive the hugs and  hear the comments of people who have been my supporters and fans throughout the years. Being a very emotional person, I nevertheless was able to keep my composure until that Bill Clinton look-alike jokster Jon Farrar made some particularly poignant comments upon leaving and broke my resolve.

I'm meeting with the attorneys on Tuesday morning to determine what final path I am required to take and when. I am talking with people who are interested (?) in buying the winery equipment and perhaps the bulk wine in barrels, which would probably be sucked into a tank and bottled out as a red blend for $2.00  a bottle. That's the way they do it. I guess I should be more upset about the final fate of all that beautiful wine I expended so much money, time, and creativity on, but I am simply numb about it.

If I am required to hold a liquidation sale, I will do so and announce it thru the club e-mail. It will be open to club members only, in the strong belief that my loyal supporters deserve what they might be able to enjoy. And  I don't want a bunch of unknown vultures and bottom feeders picking on the bones. I will not be at the event, if it is held, and Corina Trujillo has said she would be in charge if I gave her strict guidelines.

So how has this happened?

Background:  I started making wine as a hobby in 1972, the hobby grew and people started asking me to buy my wines. In 1987 I bonded my garage here in San Anselmo to make a commercial bonded winery, the only way you can legally make wine to sell. The winery did fine, the cost of the garage part of my home mortgage. After some rave reviews by the likes of wine guru Robert Parker, my wines developed a national, if small, following. Expanding into a commercial building downtown in 2001 seemed natural; the building was perfect and most of the interested customers lived in the area. Things went OK until 2008. It was obvious that most people were cutting way back and considered any wine over  $10.00 to be a luxury. It was at this stage we invented Recession Red, although the government had not yet admitted to a recession. We tied the price to the Dow Jones Industrial average and changed the price every day. The publicity of three TV networks was helpful. It wasn't profitable, but created cash flow.

The novelty ran out and people were buying even less wine, so I came u with Lug-a-jug, where people could fill their own bottles for very little money. That worked pretty well for a while, but it became obvious the people who came in were attracted mostly to the least expensive wine we had in the tanks.  Cash flow lagged even more and during several months I could not pay all the rent. At $5000, then negotiated to $4000 per month, it didn't take long to get seriously behind.  

Serious happenings:  In May of this year I managed to scrabble together enough money for a plane ticket to visit my Brother and Sisters who live in the Seattle area. The good thing about going up there for a visit is that my generous family really won't let me spend any money.  I had not had any personal income from the winery since 2001, so this was a good thing. I also had not taken a vacation for more than 5 or 6 days at a time in 9 years, because the winery called me back to work, softly but incessantly. This time, though, My son Jesse, bless him, stood in for me, and with good success, I might add. It allowed me two full weeks. The problem with that is after 6 days I felt the weight lift from me and  I became human again, and started examining my life. Which is a good idea, you should do it yourself. I know this will be shocking to some of you, but my 65th birthday is in Just a couple of weeks. I realized that my health was not being  improved by the 24/7 pressure of bills, money and responsibility that are part and parcel to being a small business owner in California. For the first time in 9 years, I felt what it might be like without that weight.

I returned to San Anselmo, refreshed somewhat, but wary of what would come now that I had seen some light. Jesse had done a great job. I went to COSTCO in Novato to buy paper towels (OK, I bought some gin, too.), walked in the door and was greeted by a mountain of wine stacked in an amazingly high pile. I stood there in awe and as the $6.99 price tag fired out to me I thought to myself, "Paul, what the F do you think you are doing. You cannot compete with the refinery wineries." All those wines taste about the same and frankly I wouldn't wash my truck with most them,  but at $6.99 it seems like that's what what people want, or think they do if your advertising budget is large enought to make them think so. Quality, care and uniqueness do not matter any more.  I realized that California has become supersaturated with wineries, grapes and wine.   Thirty years ago it was magical personalized craft. No more; now it is an industry populated by the low cost producer.

So when I returned to my never-enough money-to-pay-all -the-bills juggling act and received a visit from my landlord (I'm not mad at him, his partners are the ones responsible for the action, according to him, and they are all about the money) who said "pay up or get out" -direct quote, the first step to an eviction , it didn't take much for me to realize my time was up, and bankruptcy was the only way I could see out. (Oh I've had people say, "I'll lend you $12,000" but that is trading one debt for another, not a net gain. At least I am smart enough  to see that.

People have expressed concern for me in the future. Yes, I am collecting decent Social Security-at one point in my life I did make quite a bit of money, I have a small pension income,  and have a new book coming out on wine that the publishers are very excited about. Before you start feeling bad for the landlord, I have been paying $5000 a month for 9 years, and if you remember, sold my house to keep the business going. I am leaving behind $65,000 in personal cash money investment and $280,000 in unpaid salary. I'll not see a cent of any of it. So I cannot live in Marin, or in my mind even  in California. Although I am a 3d generation Californian, I am getting out.

My faithful club members are paying the attorney fees with the final club shipment. After my meeting on Tuesday the 22d, I will know my path better, and will add to this chronicle.

Meanwhile, thank you for reading   islandshot